Come September 29: Auf Vidersein!

My time with the Firm is about to end.

The process of my resignation has commenced today.  I had the final talk with management last Friday, and they have allowed me to leave at the end of September. 

I feel happy about this change.  The imminent lull of my career with the Firm…  The number of friends who remain with me here dwindling…  and finally the discontent I am feeling with the path I am on…  The convergence of these things has just opened me up more to the realization that the Firm is not the right place for me now.

Midnight Anxiety: Living the Big Life

It has always been my weakness to look at my peers and compare my life to them.  I envy those who are out there and living their dreams.  Although who am I to judge that they are truly happy with their path.  Who am I to judge that they have actually made it?  No, I cannot make assumptions about that.  I can only make sure that I draw that path to true happiness for myself.

I had tendered my resignation yesterday.  But management offered something that is admittedly very tempting to take.  I just have to realize what I envision to be my true happiness.  I have to do this inorder to see the right path for myself.  With this hovering at the back of my mind, I stumbled upon a close friend’s website.  He seemed happy, with his friends, some of whom were our common friends.  I am happy for him, and I am left wondering for myself.

I wonder, what is my path to true happiness?  Is my current path the one?  One which has left me scouring for friendships… one which has stolen precious time with my parents, my family… does this path lead to true happiness?

I have yet to answer these questions.  I am lost right now.

A Milestone for Midnight Anxiety

I was thrilled to see that I was searchable on Google today.  My brother showed it to me and for a few seconds my jaw just dropped in awe.  If you actually try to search Midnight Anxiety,  my page would be the first one on the list.  After more than a year of existing in incognito, Midnight Anxiety is finally on the map.

This discovery I had just ended the weekend on a good note.  Spending this weekend, among other times, with my family has been extra special for me.  The atmosphere was quite relaxed that for this short time I actually forgot about my problems.  I love the fact that the trust issues with my family are resolved.  I can just lean on them and be sure that they will support me.

My sister mentioned that the Suarez blood is always inclined to concentrate on pleasing friends, and not the family.  I do believe that.  They do tend to be too good to other people, and de-prioritize their siblings… their mothers… their wives. 

I’m glad my mom was not this way.  That is why my brothers, sister and I have been brought up being really close to each other.

I go back to work later, energized by the fact that Midnight Anxiety is doing great, that I made good memories from this weekend, and that I know that I am not alone in this struggle. 

My family is with me in every step.